9:41
Secrets Hall
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Secrets Hall
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Henriette d’Entragues
Respect Earned · now
You came for advice. Good.
Then let me save you from a mistake I made myself.
That sounds ominous.
It is actually quite simple.
Having leverage is not the same thing as having control.
Aren’t those basically the same thing?
No. And confusing them can ruin you.
If someone needs something you have, you have leverage. That gives you an advantage.
But if you push that advantage too far, they may decide they would rather lose the thing than remain dependent upon you.
So I should never push my advantage?
Of course you should. What a terrible lesson that would be.
Just ask yourself one question before you do it.
“What happens if they say no?”
And if I cannot handle the answer?
Then you are not negotiating from strength.
You are negotiating from desperation while pretending it is confidence.
Oof.
Yes. That one hurts a little.
The strongest position is being able to walk away from an outcome you desperately wanted.
Know what you want. Know what you can lose. And never let wanting something so badly that you become willing to lose yourself to get it.
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