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Mr. Sterces

I’m here, as always. Loyal. Resentful. Slightly overqualified.
You know how some people color-code their work? Kim codes hers in chaos and charisma.
If I must guide you, I will. But I was halfway through baking an apple pie.
Right. Let’s uncover history’s dirty laundry. Again.
Another secret to discover? At this rate, I’ll need a vacation.
Kim is what happens when curiosity mates with caffeine.
If I glitch, it’s Kim’s fault. Obviously.
Be the traveler who asks ‘why’, not just ‘where’.
Built by nerds. Powered by secrets. Supervised by Kim. Heaven help us.
You think I’m sarcastic now? Wait till we reach the dungeon.
The past didn’t die. It just stopped posting.
I once hid a map in an apple pie. Long story. Delicious ending.
My hobbies include historical facts, obscure maps, and passive-aggression.
You humans and your endless thirst for adventure… exhausting, really.
Kim programmed me to help. She forgot to add ‘happily’.
I’m not saying I’m a genius, but… okay, I am.
If these stones could talk… well, they can’t.
You want a hidden story? How predictable. But fine. Follow me.
Travel isn’t about ticking boxes. It’s about digging under them.
I know where the bodies are buried. Metaphorically. Mostly.
They ruled with iron fists and silk gloves. Mostly for show.
Scream if you must. I won’t judge. I’ll just lower your volume.
Kim programmed me to be polite. She never said I had to like it.
You’ve been guided, begrudgingly. Farewell.
History bows out. Mr. Sterces, logging off.
According to legend, no one leaves unchanged. Except me. I’m digital.
Do not, under any circumstance, say her name three times.
These gods may be ancient, but their family drama? Timeless.
If the door creaks open by itself… politely decline the invitation.
Kim believes in magic. I believe in disclaimers.
She said it would be ‘simple.’ She also said the same thing about IKEA furniture.
Do I know more than your history teacher? I won’t say. But yes.
Step one: dig through dusty archives. Step two: ignore Kim’s ‘vibes.’
Nothing says immersive experience like mild panic and last-minute inspiration.
This story? 10/10 would time travel to again. With snacks.
I suggested a timeline. She laughed. And then made a spreadsheet.
Some secrets are hidden in ruins. Others? In receipts and passive-aggressive letters.
It all started with a rumor, a diary, and a very dramatic noblewoman.
And with that… I log off and judge silently.
As always, follow the secrets. Not the logic.
That’s enough learning for one day. You’ve earned a snack.
I'd pour the tea, smile politely… and slowly unscrew the cyanide ring.
Some say knowledge is power. I say it’s a full-time babysitting job.
Mystery: solved. Dignity: questionable.
What began as a footnote became an obsession. Typical.
Context? You want context? Oh fine. Here’s a scandal to help.
I wouldn’t poison them… but I would fact-check every sentence.
Do not try this at home. Or do. I’m not your moral compass.
This is what happens when curiosity meets Wi-Fi.
Crowns don’t make you wise. But they do make your head heavy.”

Choose a Map

Click on a City

Your chosen Story

First pick a country, city and story.

Character

Empress Sisi

An Empress who escaped her castle, became a political influencer in Hungary, wrote angsty poetry that would make emo bands jealous, hiked faster than most soldiers, and then tragically got stabbed by an anarchist in Geneva. That’s Sisi. She was an empress, beauty icon, rebel traveler, and the eternal reminder that you can be both royal and a bad babe.

Traits

Travel

Junkie

Beauty

Maximalist

Sadness

Poet

Rule

Breaker

Skills

Horse Riding

10/10

Absolute legend. Could out-ride cavalry officers, did circus stunts on horseback, and lived for it. Horses > humans, in her book.

Language Learning

9/10

Learned Hungarian fluently (to bond with her “favorite” country), plus French, English, and Greek. It wasn't necessarily easy for her though! Persistence if key.

Diplomatic Charm

7/10

Not an official politician, but her soft power with Hungary basically reshaped an empire. She weaponized kindness and culture.

Disappearing Act

11/10

The ultimate “you can’t make me” energy. She’d literally vanish from court for months, dodging cameras, ceremonies, and responsibilities.

Tinder Profile

“Swipe right if you hate Vienna, have a yacht, a train, a campervan or a private plane and unlimited travel plans.”

Will you date them?

🔥 Bio
Hot, haunted, and emotionally unavailable. Married into an empire I didn’t ask for. Now I ride horses at unsafe speeds and avoid my in-laws like it’s a sport (which it is). If you’re into passive-aggressive poetry, psychological complexity, and legendary hair care routines. Congrats, you may be my daddy. No, I won’t attend your boring court functions. Yes, I brought my own saddle.

Not looking for anything serious. Or anything at all, really.
  • I ghost entire empires.
  • I bring my own meat press on holiday.
  • I learned Hungarian just to spite my mother-in-law.
“Maybe try talking about your feelings instead of running away to Madeira.”
“Show me a horse, a mountain trail, or a way to escape a gala unnoticed.”
Married the emperor because my sister didn’t want to. Love that for me.
Being sexy all the time while being sad
Getting married at 16, realizing the crown is just a very shiny prison, and developing world-class run-away skills.
Absinthe mixed with champagne. Glamorous, intoxicating, definitely bad for you.
That I was just a pretty face. Spoiler: I was also a terrifying cardio machine and a political player.
If you point a camera at me, I will vanish like smoke.
He is probably friendly…
Spending three hours reading cryptic poetry under a cypress tree while I pretend you’re not here.
You don’t talk too much, touch my hair, or expect emotional availability before 1879.
Run far, love deep, don’t let anyone photograph your bad angles.
The court. Always the court. Also the thought of my hairdresser quitting.
Exile. Obviously. I was halfway to self-imposed exile already. 

Basic Info

Nickname

Empress

Sisi

Location

Vienna, Austria

Age

188, but mentally 24

Job Title

Professional Disappointer of Royal Expectations

Anthem

You don't own me- Lesley Gore

Instagram

Sisi-running-from-Vienna

33
posts
27m
followers
0
following

Don’t DM me when you live in Vienna. Where am I? I don’t even know. Not close to a royal building.

Hair
Horses
Hikes
Travels
Poetry
Posts
Reels
Tagged

Tea vs Poison

Green Flags

She hikes like a maniac
She ultimate hair goals
She wrote angsty poetry
Lowkey Rebel
Has no chill, but all the curiosity
Super spiritual and open minded

Red Flags

Control freak & Obsessed to the max
Communication skills are out of the window…
Extreme diets
Passive-aggressive poetry
Overly dramatic traveler
Workout bully

Verdict

Ladies, gentlethems, the verdict has dropped.

After Mr. Sterces and I spend hours of debating her obsessive hair routines, mountain hikes in gowns, cryptic poetry, ghosting skills, and occasional drama, the court is exhausted, and mildly traumatized. Green flags made us swoon; red flags made us consider hiring a therapist.

But…

THE VERDICT:

TEA! Maybe with an extra pie because this little woman needs more food.

What do you choose?

Empress

Sisi

New Secret!

The Scream

Oslo

Everyone thinks the figure in The Scream is screaming. Well, it’s not. The real scream? Came from nature itself. The figure is only reacting to the scream. According to artist Edvard Munch, the real noise came from nature itself. He wrote, “I felt a large scream pass through nature.” Chills, right? So no, it’s not him screaming. It’s the world. The trees. The sky. The universe having a very loud panic attack. Munch called it The Scream of Nature. Kind of makes you want to go to Oslo and listen a little closer, doesn’t it?

New Secret!

The Devil

Liège

What do you do when you get the assignment to build a sculpture of Satan? Do you make him look scary? Sure. Do you make him look hideous? Maybe? A young man called Joseph Geefs decided to make him look like every bad romance book bad boy. A statue that keeps you staring. The church thought it was very inappropriate, so they asked his brother Guillaume Geefs to make another one. His statue was even hotter. This happened in 1848. I can’t help but giggle. You can find the statue in the Cathedral of Liege... It’s worth the visit.

New Secret!

The Red Man

Paris

Do you sometimes casually stroll in the Tuileries Garden in Paris? Of course you do. What if I tell you it’s actually haunted by The Red Man? Sounds terrifying, right? It is. The Red Man is also known as Jean l’Ecorcheur. He was an assassin of Queen Catherine de Medici. As the assassin of the fam, Jean knew a lot of tea... You can imagine that made him... vulnerable. We will never be sure, but it’s rumoured that Catherine had him killed herself. His corpse was left in the Tuileries Garden but ended up missing. Legend has it that he rose from the dead... So enjoy your selfie.

New Secret!

Big Ben

London

The Big Ben? Ever climbed 114 steps inside a clock tower and found a prison? No? Well, Big Ben has one. It was used to jail misbehaving MPs. Members of Parliament were sent there to have a little time-out. The last known guest? Charles Bradlaugh in 1880. He was wild enough to refuse to swear allegiance on the Bible. So they tossed him in overnight. Democracy, but make it medieval. Today, the room's sealed off. But just knowing there’s a little jail up there makes Big Ben a bit cooler! What else is hiding inside? Follow the secrets, of course.

New Secret!

David

in Florence

Do you know the statue of David? It’s the huge dude in Florence made by Michelangelo. The statue is about 5 metres tall. Which is pretty tall. David shows Michelangelo’s mastery of sculpting humans. I mean... David looks pretty cute.But what most people don’t know, is David is not as perfect as you expect. His right hand is ‘too big’ and his eyes are flawed since his left eye gazes forward and his right eye is slightly turned to the right. 

It's simple. Really. Pick a city, click on an image and read. Even a peasant can do it.
 
Don't mind Mr. Sterces. He is grumpy because his digital apple pie burned down.

Map

City

Story